Ask Sam and Bill. We are hot male models so we know what you need.

Ask Sam and Bill

E-mail Sam and Bill your questions and we will answer them right here.

Hey guys, I am a golf pro and was wondering if you 2 hot males like to golf? John Bulomexicyem Nebraska.

John, Sam and Bill are avid golfers. Sam prefers the many green and lucious golf courses in some of the former Soviet Republics. Sam feels golfing is the most fun when it is played on the back of the working class. Some do not know this about Sam but he once had a large rash on his left buttock. He got it from playing golf in Kosovo. Bill likes to golf but he tends to abhor anything non-American.

Look its a beaver typing!

Sam and Bill, recently I have noticed a small lump on the top of my knee that somewhat resembles a snake-arm. Do you have any suggestions about how to approach said spot? Ahmed Allready, Tehran

Our first suggestion would be to call your local congressman about the proliferation of toxic waste dumps that are used to dispose of the by products of plastic doll manufacturing. As we all know the fabrication process releases many dangerous chloro-flouro-hydro-methyl-ethyl-keto-carbons. These chemicals when leeched into ground water, get into the drinking water areas of the water supply and causes gross malformations in the general knee area of the individual that drinks said water resembling snake arm fish. The best way to approach the removal of the malformation would be a meat cleaver.

What is the derivation of this Warren character and do beavers eat fish?
Yakov Goldfarb, Ho-H0-Kus, NJ

Warren the skateboarding stick comes to us from inside Pakistan. You will notice in the flash intro he boards to his right directly into his moustache. This is a common sequence of riding from Pakistanis in his immediate community. You should know that Warren is fluent in Swaheli and Greek.

Yes beavers do indeed eat fish and brush their teeth.

Sam and Bill, if you could be a super hero, which would you be and why? Jack Starr Rubin, Corning, NY

Well Jack,

I (Sam) would most certainly be Powdered Toast Man from the Ren and Stimpy cartoon. His steaming hot pecs and tenacious buttocks makes him hot male model. Yep, definitely Powdered Toast Man...

I (Bill) would in fact not be a super-hero as I am already capable of causing individuals to fall apart and melt into a bloody pile of quivering goo with only a single stare of my hotness. Often, I am plagued by legions of people melting before my very stare in front of their screaming children. It is in fact quite morbid. I love the movie Fargo. At any rate, what I have learned from bearing this enormus power is that I am better off not being able to cause mass gooification and I hate screaming children. Otherwise I'd be She-Ra. She always seemed to get quality alone time with hot male cartoon model He-Man.

Sam and Bill, I have seen your site and love what you have done with it. Although I have never been a hot model I would love to be in the industry, could you please tell me how to get my start? Jim Bowen, Norfolk WV

Sure Jim we can easily field this one. A lot of people wonder how we got our start as hot models. The answer to this question is that we are overwhelmingly attractive and hot. The odds are Jim that you, like 99.27% of the men in this world are either plain or downright homely looking. Stay home and frequent our site and let us do the professional work. You are too damn ugly to become a model Jim. Stop sending us threatening e-mails. You are scaring Sam.

Sam and Bill, you always seem to be at the height of fashion, how can I learn more about hot clothes, wearing hot clothes, and buying hot clothes? I deeply desire to dress more hotly. Jeremy Branzetti, Stony Brook NY

Jeremy you have certainly asked a tough question. Being hot and wearing hot clothes takes many years of intense training and practice. The first time Bill attempted to wear hot clothes he got a really nasty infection in his urinary tract. It took over 2 weeks of intense antibiotics and 7 months of physical and mental therapy before Bill could even look at hot clothes again. Jeremy, are you willing to risk a nasty infection just to look stupid in clothes that are too hot for you? No, you are not, we get paid to get the infections Jeremy, we do.

Sam and Bill, lately my mother has been forgetting things and leaving her personal items in the freezer. I am worried about her. She also forgets things we tell her and wanders around the neighborhood late at nigh convinced she is a Chechnyan rebel. Sometimes she just shakes and drools. How can we help her? The Ferguson Family, Charleston SC

This is a very tough question that we will attempt to deal with carefully. Sam and Bill are firm believers in animal rights. When we first constructed this site it was suggested that the web-design would be enhanced by the random clubbing of 5 baby seals. We vehemently protested this assertation and are pleased to announce that no animals were harmed in making this the hot site that you see now. Animals are just people in animal form. Why can't people just stop and understand this?

Sam and Bill, I am attempting to decide between a career in international finance versus one in art history. What would you recommend? Jim Addleson, Hicksville NY

International finance seems to have the longer name. This would therefore add more prestige to your resume. It might even require a different kind of special font to be added to a resume.

Ask HotMaleModels Sam and Bill. Click here with your questions.


Ask Sam and Bill E-mail Sam and Bill your questions and we will answer them right here. Hey guys, I am a golf pro and was wondering if you 2 hot males like to golf? John Bulomexicyem Nebraska. John, Sam and Bill are avid golfers. Sam prefers the many green and lucious golf courses in some of the former Soviet Republics. Sam feels golfing is the most fun when it is played on the back of the working class. Some do not know this about Sam but he once had a large rash on his left buttock. He got it from playing golf in Kosovo. Bill likes to golf but he tends to abhor anything non-American. Look its a beaver typing! Sam and Bill, recently I have noticed a small lump on the top of my knee that somewhat resembles a snake-arm. Do you have any suggestions about how to approach said spot? Ahmed Allready, Tehran Our first suggestion would be to call your local congressman about the proliferation of toxic waste dumps that are used to dispose of the by products of plastic doll manufacturing. As we all know the fabrication process releases many dangerous chloro-flouro-hydro-methyl-ethyl-keto-carbons. These chemicals when leeched into ground water, get into the drinking water areas of the water supply and causes gross malformations in the general knee area of the individual that drinks said water resembling snake arm fish. The best way to approach the removal of the malformation would be a meat cleaver. What is the derivation of this Warren character and do beavers eat fish? Yakov Goldfarb, Ho-H0-Kus, NJ Warren the skateboarding stick comes to us from inside Pakistan. You will notice in the flash intro he boards to his right directly into his moustache. This is a common sequence of riding from Pakistanis in his immediate community. You should know that Warren is fluent in Swaheli and Greek. Yes beavers do indeed eat fish and brush their teeth. Sam and Bill, if you could be a super hero, which would you be and why? *Jack Starr Rubin, Corning, NY* Well Jack, I (Sam) would most certainly be Powdered Toast Man from the Ren and Stimpy cartoon. His steaming hot pecs and tenacious buttocks makes him hot male model. Yep, definitely Powdered Toast Man... I (Bill) would in fact not be a super-hero as I am already capable of causing individuals to fall apart and melt into a bloody pile of quivering goo with only a single stare of my hotness. Often, I am plagued by legions of people melting before my very stare in front of their screaming children. It is in fact quite morbid. I love the movie Fargo. At any rate, what I have learned from bearing this enormus power is that I am better off not being able to cause mass gooification and I hate screaming children. Otherwise I'd be She-Ra. She always seemed to get quality alone time with hot male cartoon model He-Man. Sam and Bill, I have seen your site and love what you have done with it. Although I have never been a hot model I would love to be in the industry, could you please tell me how to get my start? Jim Bowen, Norfolk WV Sure Jim we can easily field this one. A lot of people wonder how we got our start as hot models. The answer to this question is that we are overwhelmingly attractive and hot. The odds are Jim that you, like 99.27% of the men in this world are either plain or downright homely looking. Stay home and frequent our site and let us do the professional work. You are too damn ugly to become a model Jim. Stop sending us threatening e-mails. You are scaring Sam. Sam and Bill, you always seem to be at the height of fashion, how can I learn more about hot clothes, wearing hot clothes, and buying hot clothes? I deeply desire to dress more hotly. Jeremy Branzetti, Stony Brook NY Jeremy you have certainly asked a tough question. Being hot and wearing hot clothes takes many years of intense training and practice. The first time Bill attempted to wear hot clothes he got a really nasty infection in his urinary tract. It took over 2 weeks of intense antibiotics and 7 months of physical and mental therapy before Bill could even look at hot clothes again. Jeremy, are you willing to risk a nasty infection just to look stupid in clothes that are too hot for you? No, you are not, we get paid to get the infections Jeremy, we do. Sam and Bill, lately my mother has been forgetting things and leaving her personal items in the freezer. I am worried about her. She also forgets things we tell her and wanders around the neighborhood late at nigh convinced she is a Chechnyan rebel. Sometimes she just shakes and drools. How can we help her? The Ferguson Family, Charleston SC This is a very tough question that we will attempt to deal with carefully. Sam and Bill are firm believers in animal rights. When we first constructed this site it was suggested that the web-design would be enhanced by the random clubbing of 5 baby seals. We vehemently protested this assertation and are pleased to announce that no animals were harmed in making this the hot site that you see now. Animals are just people in animal form. Why can't people just stop and understand this? Sam and Bill, I am attempting to decide between a career in international finance versus one in art history. What would you recommend? Jim Addleson, Hicksville NY International finance seems to have the longer name. This would therefore add more prestige to your resume. It might even require a different kind of special font to be added to a resume. Ask HotMaleModels Sam and Bill. Click here with your questions.